Dream Job: II

If you are like me and most the millennials in America, your career life looks something like your dating life. There have been some really short-term flings, some flat-out disasters, some that seemed right but weren’t after you got into it, and some that were worth commitment. The older generations love to look at this as a huge character flaw, as thought it shows an unwillingness to commit. I see it as the exact opposite. In the same way we date several partners before finding THE partner, we try different jobs. It’s not that a person like me doesn’t want to commit, I DO! I just want to really commit to the right things. I dive in wholeheartedly, ready to commit, in most things. A few weeks/months in, compatibility details increasingly unfold. For me, whether a job or mate, that’s when you know if you can keep going or not. With Terra I knew every day and every month, there was no turning back. No matter how many times we bump heads, that’s the person for me for the long haul.

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At The Knot Couture Show in Las Vegas, Aug 2017

In my latest post about my “Dream Job,” I was also very optimistic that I had found a long term career. I got to do marketing, branding, writing, be around art, had the promise of travel, and it was all in a field I enjoyed–fashion. The less compatible aspects included broken financial and advancement promises, a weak business plan that I couldn’t get behind, the management style and the fact that I was being ushered from the creative world of marketing, branding AND sales, to just 10 hour shifts of cold-calling sales. Alas, I voluntarily left my short stint in the fashion industry.

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Ulta Bathroom Selfie 😛 December, 2017

When I left, I had several interviews lined up, but not anything official. I thank my lucky stars I pulled it off and only had about 3 days off work total. I picked up a seasonal, part time gig at Ulta (literally no training, but sweet discounts, btw) to help with the holiday season, and within another week or so I accepted the position as the director at a local, nonprofit arts and culture center. The Ulta thing ended in January so no I am full time (and then some) at the arts center. Remember all those things I loved about my job working for a bridal label: marketing, branding, writing, be around art, had the promise of travel, and it was all in a field I enjoyed? I have all of that again. And once again, I am optimistic.

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Me, absolutely giddy with one of my artists at our gallery opening, March 2018

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A Thankful Goodbye

Sometimes in a relationship, a hundred things could be totally right, but if 5 big things are totally wrong, it just might not work. Such is the story of me and the one commonly known on this little blog as “Girlfriend.” In fact, at this particular moment, “Girlfriend” hasn’t been my girlfriend for almost a month and a half. I have posted several things since our breakup, including A Little Bit Country. I wasn’t trying to hide that sometimes relationships fail. Basically anyone who’s had one ever knows that. My reason was two part: A. There was a very small possibility of a reunion. And B. honestly, I just didn’t know what the fuck to say.

I despise airing my own dirty laundry and don’t enjoy when other people do it either. At the same time, most of us live so publicly, people know who other people date, when, where, and even how. So when shit goes south, it’s tricky to  pretend they never existed. I can’t just delete every post in which she was referenced and be like, “What?… Who?…” That was a real relationship with real love, and real value, and real experiences. I acknowledge that. But now it has come to a close and I acknowledge that too.

There is no need to get into the “dirty laundry” portion. You already know. We had some rad times and some bad times. We fought, and argued, and said shitty things, and cried about it. Repeatedly. She did  always said we’d never make it. The first girlfriend is never the last. Maybe she was right. I don’t know. My romantic heart hopes she’s wrong, but who’s to say?

Guys, the thing is, no matter how much I sometimes wanted to totally punch her in the face, that relationship was important – and extra important for me. She found me sort of by accident right when I was newly separated and ready (for the first time ever) to openly date women (and so freaking excited about that.) She let me explore and she genuinely seemed to enjoy watching fresh-outta-the-closet me discover every friggin’ lesbian cliché possible. She was also there when I called my mom and let me cry after my mom cried. She set up play dates for my littles with lesbian mamas. She told me that yes I could keep blogging all my fashion and mommy blog things and have a lesbian blog. For all of this and more I will always appreciate her.  I hope we really do remain friends. She was not the girl for me, but she definitely helped me become the girl I’m meant to be and I wish her the best in all she ever does. Even if she never takes a chance on the “new girl” ever again. 😉

Cheers!

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