Self Love Week

Look at me now, two posts in one day!

Under normal circumstances I’d write this but schedule it for tomorrow, but it’s time sensitive as I’m already a few days behind. I LOVE a good social media based challenge. I have done a couple whether for health or writing or photos or art or self love and it’s great way to find connect with people of similar interests and gain new followers. You know if you’re shallow enough to care about such things. 😛 😉

My favorite of all the challenges are definitely the self love ones. No matter where I’m at, those challenges always come at a good time. It’s always beneficial. I always grow and I always get to learn about other women and what they are doing to be totally awesome in the world.

I stumbled up on this particular challenge after seeing day one posted by my ex-husband’s cousin’s wife. (That’s a thing). Her photo was captivating her essay of a caption was compelling and after an other day or so of watching I had to join in, even if late.

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It’s only day three, so join in. Do the first two days of challenges like I did, or just go right for challenge 3 (Spoiler alert: It’s treat yo’self!). If nothing else, check out mine or #selfloveweek and read some cool shit from the hearts of some amazing women. Click on my picture above to go straight to source of the challenge, the Instagram page of Mel Wells.

Side note, even if i go totally silent on the actual blog, I typically use insta as my mini blog and you can follow the life and times of my two mom crew.

Peace!

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Engayged AF (With Pictures to Prove It)

You guys. I am getting married in just over 5 weeks. (!!!) We have a place and people and plans. It’s goin’ down fur real.

And we even did engagement photos. In all honesty we did them awhile ago, but I was on my adjusting-to-new-job-and-new-schedule hiatus and I didn’t share. Guess it’s time to hurry up and get them posted since it’ll be time to share the wedding photos soon enough.

Terra’s maid of honor and friend of years graciously followed us around and took these. We didn’t do tons, but how many do we really need? 🙂 As much as I love her bike and think it’s super beautiful, the first one with the smiles and coffee is my favorite. I am in love with how we look at each other.

If you wanna see our full wedding website, check it here.

lesbian photo shoot: tinder couple with coffee

lesbian engagement shoot: Coffee mugs and rings

Lesbian Engagement Shoot: Coffee Mugs

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Lesbian Engagement Shoot Urban with a Harley

Motorcycle Lesbian Engagement  Photos | The Elle Word Blog

Motorcycle Lesbian Engagement Photos

Motorcycle Lesbian Engagement Photos | The Elle Word Blog

Motorcycle Lesbian Engagement Photo Session | Harley Davidson | The Elle Word BLog

Dream Job

Have you ever had you perfect job? The kind you just know was good for you? I’m not talking about those MLM schlepping folks always hyping their #motivationmonday and waking up everyday blasting social media about kicking this day’s ass like a boss. Or maybe that’s how they really feel every goddamn day and i’m just bitchy. But what I’m talking about is *almost* feeling that way without your “coach” telling you what to post of facebook. I’m talking about going from restless nights and anxiety at work to being able to gush to even yo mama about what you do every day. Because that is where I am *finally* at.

Selling radio was a good gig for the time. It paid pretty decent and I got the job exactly when I needed it and it allowed me to move in with Terra and not feel like a totally irresponsible sort of U-Haul lesbian. For that I am grateful. When I sold TV, I had a badass, but gracious boss. He was always cheering for me, whether in my professional or personal life. It was exactly perfect for having tiny kiddos and then separating and eventually divorcing Morgan. It was good for going back and forth between Terra’s and my house and having all the flexibility I needed. But…. Holy fuck I dreaded media sales. I always felt like I *could* be good at it, but 98% of the time, I was not. Which made me hate it and then add in the shitty parts of outside sales… not good.

I pretty much felt like I would handle it. I would survive that level of miserableness because I needed to contribute and there was no other choice. But seriously people, I was working 8-5, M-F, with about an hour of commute. That’s well over 50 hours of my waking life away from my family and basically hating life, trudging through the day. It’s fucking hard to just drop that at the door. My miserable 50 hours were affecting my previously pleasant hours. Pretty sure Terra had to deal with me getting teary and whiny every time I hit glass two or three of wine in the evenings.

I started applying and interviewing elsewhere. For awhile that actually made it worse. Every goddamn time I made it through interviews and second interviews only to find out I wasn’t their first choice, I’d come home mopey to Terra about being “such a loser.” Until the day I was a was someone’s first choice. The company that finally picked me, is the best one I could have picked for myself. I’ll get to the parts about what I actually do, but listen to the perks: four tens every week. I have three day weekends Every. Single. Week. 15 minute commute. My own office (that’s adorable). I get to wear basically whatever I want, including show off tattoos or rainbow hair. And still some flexibility to work from home when necessary.

As for the job itself, well it’s a beautiful combination of marketing, public relations, social media, sales, account management, fashion, and a dash of travel. Cash me at NYC Bridal Fashion Week, how bout dah? I literally spend my every day promoting these babies in some sense of the word:Bridgette FullHalsey FullMadison FrontShaffer FullTerra Full Back

Fun fact: I named three of these gowns. The bottom, super sexy one is named “Terra.” The second and third ones are named for my daughter and step-daughter. 🙂 You can check out the full collection here or our website here.

So yup, that’s it folks. I spend my time sharing these photos, working photo shoots, scheduling trunk shows, creating marketing materials, and looking at pretty things. Our team is small but awesome and I genuinely love what I do. Also I don’t have to spend my nights zoning out on the Wheel of Fortune or Design Home apps, so that’s cool too.

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Lesbian Family Photos: Coming Soon

All in all, I’ve been blogging (even if somewhat irregularly) since 2010 after I had S. I know this because it was all about me living the new mom life and trying to lose weight at the same time. For what it’s worth, that did prove to be a pretty effective way to focus on my goals and shed some weight. It was also where I announced my pregnancy with baby G and that was pretty much the end of that.You can check it out here. When I re-hit the scene as Mrs. Mama Elle later rebranded as Life Styled by Elle it was a lot of the usual lifestyle/mom blog, except I knew a little bit better what I was doing. My graphic design skills weren’t total shit and my writing was pretty good. At quite a few points I kept things quite regular and I must say some of the posts and topics were pretty good. My collaboration with Ruthie from fairywingsanddinosaurs.com was something of which I was particularly proud. In fact, with my impending family photo shoot, I was thinking of republishing it here.

Except now I can’t. It’s pretty heteronormative and even more than that, which of the outfits in the “big girls” edition could I even bribe our girls (almost 7 and almost 13) into wearing? I won’t lie, they are super adorable. But every single option includes pink or lace or a skirt or something and there is just no way. And frankly, if I’m being picky, the family pics I used as examples aren’t that great and every single one is just a little family of four. All a mom, a dad, and little kids that parent dress. That’s easy. Sounds like a revamp is in order. Only this time I’m tackling a lesbian couple with four strong-willed kids. And to be frank, I’m pretty sure 4 outta 5 school days a week, the 5 year old dude has the best style. The grand finale will be our family pics. The proof is in the pudding and you can judge whether or not I’m able to pull it off. And fair warning, if they turn out even semi-cute, I will pin the shit outta every single one on Pinterest. I have yet to be able to find much under “lesbian family photos” that isn’t two cute young mama’s with a single little toddler/baby or even just a bump.

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Basically the only big, lesbian family photo on the whole internet. Great show, BTW.

Our family photos are scheduled for Thursday, February 9th. I’m not yet prepared at all, but I am SO excited. I’m silly about stuff like this. I get that it’s not actually important to my relationship or family well being, but to me, it feels like it is. It’s symbolic. It’s all of us together. Blended, sort of matching, sort of crazy, smiling. It’s Terra and I engaged and promised and together. Basically, it’s everything I want most in life captured to treasure forever. Plus, hey, I’m a multi-tasker and it’s new family photos, pictures of just the sibling pairs for the dad’s Father’s Day gifts, and engagement pics all in one swoop. Hell, I’ll probably get a blog head shot and Christmas card 2017 out of it while I’m at it because I’m just that kind of girl. Wish me luck!

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2017 Resolution: Make Art

I love art. I love, love being creative. It hurts my soul and well being when I am not creating at least a little something or appreciating something someone else created. I find inspiration in everything and it’s such a waste when that inspo just sits there. When I don’t let myself free and take the time to see, experience, enjoy and bask in art, I get claustrophobic. I feel secluded and trapped and like no one knows me or sees me. When I am crafting or designing or decoration or writing or cooking or any such thing, I share myself. It may be unrefined and raw, but it’s me. (Also rather unrefined and raw.) My ideas become something and even if no one ever sees it, just tossing it into the universe fulfills me.

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My resolution for this year is to create more. To make art. I’m not going to promise to write/blog every day, because we all know how well that goes. I don’t even promise to create anything really good. What I do promise is to not let that feeling creep back in. I promise to allow myself to be inspired and to act upon those inspirations.  I will draw when I want to draw, bake something new just because it looks cute, create logos for fake businesses simply to see if it looks as rad as I imagine, and take up any knew hobby (perhaps with a glass of wine in my hand) as proudly as I please. I don’t care that real tattoo artists have actual training and tattoo on actual humans. I don’t care that real photographers have more than two lenses and keep them clean. Or that real chefs don’t burn shit or make things that no one in the house but fat Chihuahua Paco will eat. Or that real fashionistas and makeup artists don’t put functionality and comfortability on a list of top three must-haves. I will continue to dabble in tattooing with my cheap machine on fake skin. And I will take and edit far more photos on my phone than on my love-deprived DSLR. I will make kitchen flops and fails. I will continue to have just a much fun with my look as I care too. With comfort and function in mind.

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I will also push myself to learn as much about these arts and others. Mostly with Skillshare because I love it. If you’ve never tried it, you’re missing out. Right now you can get 3 months for $.99 each. After that it goes up to $12 but it’s worth it if you make time to learn and develop new skills. I had it for about a year and a half. The first six months I used it plenty but then stop allowing myself the time. I’m back at it and have already saved like 50 classes on everything from HTML to watercolors. You can totally cancel at the 3 month mark or earlier. If you wanna give it a go with me and see if it helps to expand your artistic horizons, use this code to go right to the $.99 deal http://skl.sh/2iGr2NQ

P.S. No one paid me shit to say that. I just love skillshare that much.

P.S.S. Oh yeah, And I will at least TRY to do something towards reinvolving myself with roller derby. 😀

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Skillshare!

En-GAY-ged!

Maybe you noticed I jumped back in here and wrote some things and then popped back out again all stealthy-like. Maybe you didn’t, but let’s just assume you did. And then assume that you are so curious as to why. You probably thought it was because I had some big secret plan brewing and I didn’t wanna spill the news or any sort of little hint. You probably thought it was all I was really thinking about to the point that it was causing me to text, message and call people more than usual and also maybe incessantly stalk the USPS tracking feature. If you thought all that shiz, you win. You were completely right.Light up thenight at promwith me-.jpgOn New Year’s Eve 2016 just a bit before midnight, I asked my beautiful girlfriend to marry me. Spoiler alert: she said yes. Every moment up until that was a just a wee bit stressful. I’m not kidding folks, that shit is harder than it looks. And every single person who has ever done all that write-a-song, tell-a-whole-20-minute-story, profess-undying-love-with-original-poetry brand of proposing has my never ending admiration. I was so nervous even a week before the actual proposal that I am pretty sure I had to create flashcards just to remember the phrase, “Marry Me.” But let’s go back a bit, shall we?

Obviously, I’ve got it bad, real bad for this woman. I uprooted my kids, career, and home to be closer to her and start building a new life and family with her. That’s kinda big. I mean, maybe less big amongst lesbians (u-haul is a term afterall…) but bigger than that move is what’s happened since then.  Love, growth, my kind of perfection. The kind you just know is right. The children have bonded with each other and with us, the mamas. I want this life forever. This is the woman I want every single day for always.This is the woman I want every sing day, for.pngFor me, it hasn’t been any more complicated than that. I don’t need a ring, or paper or anything to tell her I love her, and I will tell her I love her every single day. But it’s nice. It’s nice to show I’m serious and make plans. It’s nice I’m able to forge a permanent life for us and the kids.

I’ve told her I wanted to marry her. I’ve “fake” proposed at least half a dozen times. Hell, I’ve even fake married her a few times. Every single time I’ve said any of that, I meant it. No matter how silly or sloppy or totally drunk.  She is my person and I meant it each time I said so in any such way. But that isn’t enough. As the woman of my dreams, what she deserves is a decent proposal with an actual ring. So before I continued on with my pattern of awkward, mediocre love words, I needed to make it right. I needed it to be real and make sure she knew it was real.

I’ve had my eye on a certain jewelry style for some time and months ago found a little etsy artist that seems to do it just right. I knew it would take a while to be made and shipped, so before I could blow any more money on Christmas gifts that the children would break before January, I went for it and hit “buy.” From that moment on it was almost all I could think of. I spent all my time trying to predict the arrival date to plan for the right day, reading proposal stories & idea articles, writing speeches, and even made a video to do the job.

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As the days slunk by, the more I began to panic. Nothing was good enough. Nothing. Not me, not any fucking proposal on the planet. Not the ring. Seriously nothing. She’s a goddamn dream. How the flying fuck was I ever supposed to ramble my meager attempts at romantic prose with some little rock on metal and convince her she should totally promise me eternity? Every idea was too lame, too obvious, too cheesy, or too something. All the while I knew that if I was this nervous now, there’s basically no way I’d ever be able  to stutter a sentence in any human language.

I had been communicating with several friends about my plans, including Joanne. She is Terra’s best friend, so her input was helpful. Based on the arrival date of the ring I decided that New Year’s Eve was definitely the day. Then that crazy woman went and made our NYE plans into a whole group affair. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a badass buncha lesbians, but seriously? This is one time that even the thought of the limelight was strangling me. At that point basically all bets were off. I was pretty certain I wasn’t even gonna survive this. Joanne and I finalized a plan for me to take Terra out on the beautiful Coeur d’Alene boardwalk. Joanne would stay far enough behind and take pictures as I did the whole, lovely thing in the moonlight. Sounds great, right? It would have been except for all the things I didn’t account for. The extra people that I really wasn’t sure I wanted to do it in front of, the fact that we spent all day at a ski resort and my little pretty was exhausted and we had to bust ass just to be dressed and make it to the dinner reservations 10 minutes late, or the fact that it was somewhere around 9 degrees out and Terra didn’t bring a coat or even a jacket. None of it was working for me.

After dinner and settled in at the bar, Joanne and I had a couple of quick team meetings and decided I’d wait until the champagne toast and drop it in her glass. It’d be pretty, simple, warm, AND classy AF. Guess what. None of that exactly panned out either. After an evening of perspiration and anxiety I seized a quiet moment just a bit after 11:30. When Joanne’s sister brought a third round of chocolate cake shots, I semi-sneakily dropped the rings into her shot glass. (I fully acknowledge that this method was less class AF than the champagne plan.)

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Chocolate cake shots are delicious. So delicious that even as a tiny shot, a girl may be inclined to slow down and savor them. Thank goddess Terra did just that and didn’t choke to death. She was taking baby sips and I swear she must have seen the rings at least 5 times. This did nothing to help my surging anxiety as I was certain she saw and just decided to ignore them. Like a subtle, “Nah, I’m good.” On that next sip she caught them, dropped them on the table and asked, “what’s this?” I told her that I loved her more than anything and that I was really hoping she’d marry me and love me forever. I’m not real sure exactly what was said after that. Some version of yes, some other words, and a whole lot of hugging, holding, and making out right through until midnight.

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It really wasn’t the grand, glorious gesture my fiancé deserves. Joanne didn’t get to video or take photos of the actual event, but we got some dark and blurry phone pics that I’ve made the best of. And I get to marry the woman of my dreams.

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